So my wife got hooked on something I got her onto on Twitter, and that something is The Bloggess. Jenny Lawson is The Bloggess, and she’s also one of the writers for the Houston Chronicle’s Good Mom/Bad Mom, and she’s hilarious.
So now my wife won’t stop reading The Bloggess, or laughing uncontrollably at me, or answering the phone by shouting, “Wolverine!”… and so, I’m thinking to myself, “The Bloggess is pretty hip, has a cool blog, and maybe I should see about some advertising.”
At some point emails were exchanged, and then phone calls, and eventually the following conversation… happened I guess is what you’d have to call it.
After a brief, “my wife loves your blog,” intro, things ran something sort of like this.
So, I was wondering about a possible advertising arrangment.
Awesome, what size ad do you want to buy?
Oh, uh, well… I was aiming more or less at the selling end of the field on that one actually.
Selling…, who is this again?
Marc Eastman, from Are You Screening?
Screaming? Is this some sort of porn blog like hdpornvideo german or something, why would I want an ad there? Well, actually, that’d be kind of funny.
No, but you’d be surprised how many people think I’m saying “screaming” when I mention the site. And then she was all, “No, I wouldn’t, I thought that’s what you said, what did you say?” And, I’m all, “Screening.” And so she goes, “I still think that’s what you said… Hold on… -Shut up bitches! I’m on the phone with a porn site!- So, what’s your site, and what do you want?”
Well, yeah, it’s “screening,” like things with a screen, you know movie screen, computer screen.
What the hell is screening?
Uh…, it’s like if you’re watching a movie screen, or looking at a computer screen, then you’re screening.
Uhhh… yeah, so…
Why are you calling me anyway, I don’t do television or whatever.
Well, I just cover whatever I’m interested in, and I count blogs and so on as things on screens… you know, you have to be looking at a screen, so…
Are you from PETA?
And you’re not a porn site?
Well… I don’t know, it could still hurt my reputation to have you advertise on my site. I mean really, that’s a pretty dumbass name for your site, or blog, or whatever. I don’t know, I might have to charge you more than normal. If you find yourself in this situation, you may want to check out a porn ranking site. So you can bypass the ads and go straight to the best. You can read more here.
Well, uhh… so anyway I guess this is not exactly…
You know you sound like that one guy from The Unusuals, de la Hoy or something, you watch that show Mr. Screen Man? You sound like you look like him I mean, not like you sound like him. You don’t sound like him, but you sound like you look him… you know, a little dope-ity, and not completely like the dwarf… you know what I mean there Screening?
At that point the stream of consciousness really grabbed hold, and she was off. I could hardly keep up with listening to her, and before I knew it she had mentioned spinach salad, the Spanish Inquisition, a yard of ale, and “crazy bastards in family bathrooms” without taking a breath once.
So, having opted out of any sort advertising scheme (in either direction), I decided I might as well write up a post anyway… even if the only thing that came out of the whole exchange was just my wife saying, “I told you it was a stupid name.”
Are You Screening?
*virtually nothing in this post actually happened… well, my wife did say… nevermind.